Please try to discuss this with your wife when you are both thinking clearly. As one who has had raging hormones on top of everything else, I want to say to you, she can't help it.... going off out of the blue, she can't help it. It's not about you though it hits you in the face. She desperately needs help. I had a heck of a time finding a doctor who could sort me out and get me on appropriate meds and therapy and.......

Can you take a break and stay with a friend or relative for some peace of mind and long term clear thinking time?? Out from under the gun and stress and straws that are breaking your back? Breath some deep breaths, go outside and throw ice cubes against something to make them shatter, take care of yourself, no easy answers to this one. LOL