Thanks ladymacbethadmunsen When I am selene..I'm never conscious that I am her, such as when I wrote the journal, not until I read it again days later did I realize that it was written as her. With my online 'friends' I didn't realize that I had them until one of them sent me an email calling me Selene, and then it just got worse from there.
Sometimes people tell me that I did things that I don't remember doing, same with some of the things I say, or places I've been.
Such as my last birthday, it was in december, my mom asked me a few days ago if I liked the restaurant that we went to for my birthday and I had no recollection of celebrating my birthday at all :\
I aslo have no memories of my childhood before I was nine, but I don't know if that has anything to do with anything.
Thanks again for the support, it's good to know that someone understands

amandalouise- Please, please don't automatically attribute all this to my being a teenager. My mom does that and it kills me because everything I go through everyday cannot be pushed aside and blamed on 'teenage hormones'.

Just because we are younger doesn't mean we can't have the same problems as adults, it's just easier to ignore with teens because people have something to blame it on. That's not right. Someone could have a serious problem, a teen could be chronically depressed and their parents could blame their 'moodiness' on puberty. Until something serious happens and they try to commit suicide.

As with me, suicidal thoughts, having someone else inside my head, and constantly wanting to bring a blade to my skin are NOT normal "growing up things", they are serious problems that I have to suffer through everday, and they should be taken into account and not shoved aside with a flimsy excuse like everyone loves so much to do.
So please, don't tell me what I am feeling is "normal", this is the worst thing you could possibly say to me right now, it practically robs me of all hope that there is something better than this, and it is ridiculously ignorant of how I feel living like this. It oversimplifies everything and says "if others can deal, so can you."

I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed when I came here, I was looking for some support and understanding. And if I could see a doctor, I already would have, seeing as in my post I wrote that I want help, but I don't know how to get it. If I had a doctor, a way, and a reason to get there, I would have gone by now.

I appreciate your effort, truly I do, but I don't feel any the better for it. Thank you anyway,

MissManic