you are not intruding at all..

it is SO hard to process it all, isn't it? i often feel the same. that they took all that was good of me to satisfy themselves and now i'm left with nothing. i often hear in my head 'my happiness is irrelevant. i am irrelevant. i don't exist.'

here's my interpretation: because they came to steal ourselves from us, we had to die in order to survive. now that we are free from them physically, we need to free ourselves mentally. we need to process and properly mourn the one who had to die so that we can now live. somewhere under all the rubble is the new us who wants to come out. but we need to clear away all that rubble so that it is safe.

take care. you are dealing with SO much right now between your own trauma processing and your son not being well... be gentle with yourself and remind yourself that despite the turmoil in your life right now - you are safe.