Oh, deli! The first part- it sounds like you are wanting to do this for yourself and that is a good thing, so YAY! The second part, yes it IS sad you expect/don't want him to be your friend. I understand the fear-that he will KNOW and still be there for you. It is scary, I get it. I hope you two meet, and just don't put pressure on yourself, ok? Let it just be however it goes. And sometimes you have to take the initiative and call him again and be like " hey dude, we meeting today?" because some people are flaky like that and it has nothing to do with how much they care about you.