Darkrunner, I can understand what you are expressing.
That was a big part of my own healing.
And because my T is also a survivor of abuse, I knew he was not disregarding my pain or minimalizing the events.

One day he pulled out "the triangle"

http://www.lynneforrest.com/html/the...of_victim.html

That helped me to move past seeing myself as a victim and into the role of survivor.

Hope this helps! And good job on your attitude toward healing!