I know what you mean, but it isn't hopeless at all, it just takes time.

After my divorce in 2001 I had a bad bout of depression and expressed the desire to quit picking toxic relationships as one of my therapy goals. In 2005 I met my current husband and we are very happy. He's like my dad in some positive ways but not like him in the negative ways. We have a wonderful relationship and are best friends. But before that, I had nothing but dysfunctional abusive relationships, one after the other, just as you describe.

I think it just takes awhile to get to the point where you have the energy to even work on relationships. I mean, for me, it took years to just sort out my own stuff, then I was left with the depression and PTSD physical effects to sort out with meds, and THEN, after all THAT, I had the capacity to deal with guys with the help of a therapist. It took years.

Don't be too hard on yourself. There is someone out there for you for sure, someone nice. Keep taking good care of yourself and he will eventually show up. So much of it is just learning who to say 'no' to. (No small task!)

Hang in there!