Just to clarify, she didn't actually say she didn't see my as a victim.

She did actually say: "I don't understand why you are letting it contaminate the rest of your life, and why you don't keep it contained."

That's when I told her that I still feel like a helpless victim, that I can't just 'choose' to contain it.

Lastyearisblank - Yeah I don't want to be treated as a victim, but I get frustrated with people telling me to think positive, and mind over matter, and choose to not allow it to affect you in this way, etc etc. It sounds so easy, but it is not for me.

WePow - thank you for the link. I looked at the triangle and the article and it is interesting. I am going to print it out and read it when I have a bit more time to think about how it applies to my life. I can accept the fact that I am stuck in the 'victim role.'
And I'm not so sure my attitude toward healing is good right now, but thanks for saying that. You're encouragement really helps.

Thanks Treehouse, I agree with you. Words are powerful. I'm the one who brought up the word victim. I think the word she used that had the biggest effect on me is 'CHOOSE' - that I can choose to not allow this to affect my life so much. Is that true? Is it really my choice to make? Because it doesn't feel like it is within my control to make that choice. So I guess it makes me feel like I'm not trying hard enough.