Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah
She shouldn't get the cart before the horse then. If she is choosing to wait to work with you on the traumas then she has to wait for you to heal enough (by working through the traumas) to let go of the feelings of victim then.
|
I see your point....that makes a lot of sense.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah
If you could simply just choose why would any of us be in therapy? This power to just choose seems pretty similar to "control" and isn't this what eating disorders are all about anyway? About control....... I thought she was an expert..........
|
I get what you're saying here. And now that you are helping me process this a little more, it all seems vaguely (and strangely) familiar, because I think I have been through this with her before. She makes these statements about what I could (should) be doing differently, and I take them as very personal and assume she is saying these things in a judgemental way (maybe projecting my own insecurities and judgements), but she would say she is just throwing things out there to see if they 'stick' - to show me that there are other options. Maybe like, she is working with generalities and I am thinking in terms of specifics.
Or is this just me rationalizing and defending?
I'm not sure, but I think I'm going to collect my thoughts and try to send her an email about it this week.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lastyearisblank
I agree totally. I think I wasn't clear. I meant it is not like being treated as a victim is some great prize. I think your therapist is setting up some false dichotomy between being a victim and being strong. It's really an issue of compassion..
I just want to add it sounds like you are trying your hardest to make this healiing. But it is ok in my opinion to put some of it on her.
|
Oh, ok. I see what you meant. That's a really interesting way to put it. So if there is a 'false dichotomy' between being a victim and being strong, then that means it is possible to be a victim and be strong at the same time? But even still, not being able to step out of the victim mindset doesn't necessarily signify a weakness, but just a limitation that is probably temporary, and she should have compassion for where I am?
Thanks for saying that I'm trying hard. Sometimes I feel like I am, and sometime I don't. But it helps to hear you say that.
