Quote:
Originally Posted by darkrunner
...and so she doesn't treat me as a victim.
She knows I was vicimized, but she said she doesn't understand why I have LET that 'contaiminate' the rest of my life, and why I haven't CHOSEN to keep that part 'contained'
So I was a little frustrated. I told her I felt like I was being accused and blamed for not doing better. I told her that I still felt like a helpless victim, so when she says I LET my life be contaminated, and that I could CHOOSE to accept it and move on, inside I am saying, But I can't!!!
It hurts too much!!
So I had this realization last night, and now I wonder, is it GOOD for my therapy that she doesn't see me as a victim? Because that means she will push me harder, and not let me make excuses and waste time?
Or will it be bad for my therapy, because aren't T's supposed to 'meet us where we are' and accept that and start from there....
Your thoughts?
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Dark,
Is it possible that it is both/and? If she were to see you as a complete victim would she have hope that change is possible? If she were not able to share in your hurt and pain would she be able to empathize that you were victimized?
I think of it as hastas. I mean hastas do not die for anything. You can forget to water them all season and they will still live. However, if you water and tend to them not only do they bloom but the lovely surprise is that many of them have flowers that appear.
T probably thinks that you have a very hearty and resiliant nature. You have overcome a lot and you work very hard to have a life worth living. i.e taking good care of your children, keeping everything going when the hubby is gone, going to work. And your t needs to remember that hastas need to be cared for in order to thrive. They need to be covered from frost, they do better with partial sun and partial shade, they need to be watered. So maybe we can gather our watering cans and gardening gloves and send them to your t so she can remember that you are special and need care.