Quote:
Originally Posted by googley
Hi (((((MUE)))))
You have been doing so great with getting through everything right now. I am so proud of you.
I'm going to try to make sense, but I don't know if it will. If it doesn't (or you don't like what I say), feel free to toss it out. Please keep this separate from whether or not you should share, this is more like after you have shared.
My understanding of your group is that it is about the interaction at the time of T and what is going on in the room. So it seems like part of working in this group is making sure that you get what you need from the group. You said that after you share, someone replies, and then often someone replies about the reply and so the topic does not stay on what you have shared. Maybe (after you have shared) part of the skills to learn in the group is how to say (not necessairly in these words), wait a minute, I still need something. I need you to acknowledge what I have shared and give me feedback. This would then be about your interaction with the group. It would give you the attention you seem to need that right now you are not getting. Part of group discussion if you want to get your topic in is knowing how to manipulate the discussion in a way that you don't get run over by others and their needs. (I personally suck at this).
So as I said at the beginning, I don't know if this makes sense to you, or if it resonates, but I had been thinking and so thought I would throw my .02c.
I hope that you have a good session. Take gentle care of yourself. You have been so busy doing things. Remember to take time for yourself.
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Googley, you are so right on about your description of group T and how it works. But this is the way it's supposed to work....the discussion comes back to what's going on in the room and the value is in the secondary feedback (the feedback of the feedback) - if that makes any sense. So, rarely, does the topic ever stay figural.
I totally get what you're saying, about bringing it back to my needs....but it's so hard for me to do. I shut down so easily....that ball in the pit of my stomach or chest just builds and the words just won't come out....and I'm just screaming inside.....
The same thing basically happened tonight....The situation with the door was addressed, and someone gave me feedback - the guy saying that he was not trying to minimize. I then said that I have a really hard time talking about uncomfortable things, etc....and then the topic switched, just like that....and I shut down....I know the hurdle is for me to not to shut down...but I'm worn. I'm tired, and I hate feeling worse after going to group. It's like nobody cares...and even when I try to speak, nobody hears me or stays with me long enough....and everything just gets so messed up inside me....and it affects my ability to move forward in the session.
I felt totally invisible tonight...and yucky. SO yucky.....about so many different things. All these awful feelings that I'm too fearful to address. I hate it.