sending you lots of hugs, rainbow!
and what you said about wanting to take T home......when my T told me once I could choose something to take from her office and gave me a few options, I remember saying something like, 'well, since I can't take you....' So anyway, you know I understand how you feel.....but I am glad that you do have a wonderful connection with your T and a little something from her office to help you remember that connection you do have, even in the midst of grieving what can't be.