(((((((((((((((mue))))))))))))))))

so sorry to hear group was such a torturous experience. it does sound like what you are wanting from a group is conflicting with the type of group you are in. while there is value in sticking things out there is also value in knowing when to say "enough" and removing yourself from a situation that has become too burdensome and unsafe for you. you seem to have so very much stress in your life and i do think it may be because you have such a hard time saying no to things and setting boundaries because you want to please others. but what about you? what about mue's safety? you do have to be your own advocate in life. you've done a wonderful job recently with setting boundaries with your ex and i think that will result in much more peace for you. i do think as much stress as you can take off your plate is wise since it is affecting your health so severely. your body is trying so hard to tell you this and i think you have to be mindful of its message. you pressure yourself so much to share about your abuse but before you do that you need to have a modicum of safety and stability. you need a setting where you can feel safe enough to open up. i think your unconscious knows you don't have that with your current group and it doesn't sound like it's even designed for that. maybe if you work first on finding safe places and stabilizing your emotions then you will then be able to open up more. be gentle with yourself mue. we're all just fragile beings.