I want to cry when I see you write about mistreating yourself. I wish I had a nice daughter to love and take care of. So...maybe you've already heard this advice, but I still think it is a good piece of advice and if I ever want a boyfriend again, this is what I will do: get out and do the things that interest you. If you like animals, get involved in animal charities or rescue groups; if you like books, join a book club, etc. and while you are enjoying yourself doing an activity or hobby you like, you can keep an eye out at the same time for eligible boyfriend material. A lot of people have hobbies and interests of all kinds outside of their work and classes, so if you pursue your own interests then if you meet someone you will already have something in common.