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I do know is if there is a god and he made men and women and he gave them the brain to make their own choice

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That's it exactly! Our abusers made the choise to go against God's law. It's called Free Will.

As for us, the abused, He watched and He HURT right along with us just like parents hurt when they see their young children learning to walk. If we reach out and catch them every time they stumble, they don't learn to balance for themselves in order to keep from falling. We ALLOW them stumble and fall so they can learn. The same with God.

An example out of my childhood. I used to pray daily, several times a day that my dad would come back home after he divorced my mom. A few years ago, I asked a very wise "man of the cloth" why God never answered my prayers. This wise man told me "Maybe God knew something you didn't know. God may have known it wasn't in "the little girl's best interest" for her daddy to come back." I later found out that my dad had sexually abused me. Did God answer my prayer... or not? I say "Yes!" He protected me from further abuse!