As a young child, I always thought my mom was great. She was a stay at home mother and did everything she could for us. When I was 15, the cat was let out of the bag that she was an alcoholic--she would get drunk while my sisters and I were at school and be passed out on the couch when we got home. Eventually this lead to her be unfaithful to my dad and their divorce.

After my parents were separated, my mother started dating a man she had met in rehab. (They were "meant for each other" because they were admitted on the same day.) I knew from the beginning that this was a bad idea, and I was only a teenager. During the beginning of their relationship, it was obvious who her priority was--him. She did everything she could to have keep my sisters and I away from our father, but when then she would be gone all evening with her boyfriend. Leaving me to cook the meals for my sisters. In the mean time, my father finally gave up trying to spend extra time with us because it was a hopeless battle...my mother used us to hurt our father. My mother and her boyfriend stayed sober for 3 years, then when my older sister went to the army, they began to drink and beat each other. They were both arrested several times. She would leave him, move to her mothers house 4 hours away, then come back to him. She did this several times, each tme I helped her, because by then I was in college. The last time she left him, he died of an overdose. She was devastated---blamed herself.

She eventually moved in with her mother and met another man (within 3 months). She married him after being together only 5 months. They both drink and beat each other, just like the first one. This past summer, my family and I went for a visit, and she had put him in jail because he was hitting her and threatened her life. I helped her pick up the pieces, paid some of her bills, got her a cell phone and called off work to help her move. By november, my step father was out of jail and they were back together. I am still paying her phone bill and a storage fee for the things from her first boyfriend after he passed away.

I feel like I have been taking care of my mother for my entire adult life, helping her pick up the pieces after a relationship has went sour only to have her go back to the man she was with. I know that it is her life, but what should I do...I feel like she has done nothing but use me since I was a teenager (first to hurt my father, then so that I could take care of her).

Theres other things that she has done, even when I was a young child that I only recently figured out. For example, I had acne as a young child and she took me to the doctor and had them prescribe medications over and over. I felt like there was something wrong with the way I looked. I have never thought I was pretty and now I know why...because she did this. She made me feel this way.

I am sure there are other things that have happened but I just cant remember.

Should I feel bad for not wanting to help her anymore? I feel like enough is enough, I have my own family to worry about.