It had a lot to do with my frustration about what I raised in this thread...but not being able to get myself to address it...

and then with the 2 new group members being women...and them bring up sexual issues....and it just made me feel SO YUCKY....

And the worst part is that these are other clients of T...and it brings up that ugly green monster that tells me how T has all these other intimate relationships with so many other people in the room...

and it just makes me feel so small and insignificant.....

I totally get what you're saying, about bringing it back to my needs....but it's so hard for me to do. I shut down so easily....that ball in the pit of my stomach or chest just builds and the words just won't come out....and I'm just screaming inside.....

The same thing basically happened tonight....The situation with the door was addressed, and someone gave me feedback - the guy saying that he was not trying to minimize.

I then said that I have a really hard time talking about uncomfortable things, etc....and then the topic switched, just like that....and I shut down....I know the hurdle is for me to not to shut down...

It's like nobody cares...and even when I try to speak, nobody hears me or stays with me long enough....and everything just gets so messed up inside me....and it affects my ability to move forward in the session.

I felt totally invisible tonight...and yucky. SO yucky.....about so many different things. All these awful feelings that I'm too fearful to address.