Oh, wow! What a wonderful bunch of kind and thoughtful replies!!!

After "chilling" a bit, we talked things over and saw this crisis through. She said she has been depressed and trying to hide it on and off for several months. She, like her mother, is very stoic - not always the best way to be.

We both have a lot in common, too much to toss away in haste. One thing we both have in common is we don't suffer fools gladly. I think that comes with age. It also means we don't put up with each other's crap very well. I have seen this happen to other "older" folks whose cohort I am approaching. It has good and bad effects on relationships of all kinds.

She said she has a doctor's appt in a few weeks where she will ask about anti-depressent meds. That may be helpful.

The truth is we both do love each other in spite of the several ways we irritate each other, too. We had a talk about some of these things and agreed to try to stiffle them when possible.

We are not calling it quits and that is a good thing. I think what we had was a good wake up call and now have a renewed interest in behaving.