Since my major crazy throwing session, I haven't damaged anything else, but I have wanted to. I can feel the anger in my stomach and then rise up in my chest - it almost takes over.

I did tell my therapist about what I did and about how it scared me. She said we need a safe plan for what I should do if I get that way again. I don't really want to tell her I've felt it again though. It sucks to feel so out of control.

When I was driving my car, I was going just inches away from walls and poles and then moving at the last second, even making the 'BAM' noise as I did it. I knew what I was doing wasn't normal, but I couldn't stop it.

You all are right, it's such an awful feeling. It's comforting, in a way, to hear that other's have experienced this, but I'm sorry that you've had to.

I may just take you up on this sometime!