Quote:
Originally Posted by invisigirl
I have this part... Nina. she is very self-assured and confident and mature. much more of a responsible person than I am. she is convinced that all this 'stuff' about my past is nonsense. my childhood was pretty normal and I have a good family and I'm a pretty awful person for talking about them the way I do.
she is much stronger than me and seems to have an easier time getting off her butt and squaring her shoulders against the world. I rely on her a lot.
she has been present a lot lately. and when she is there during T, it can be rather hard. I feel like I don't belong there. obviously I'm just fine and should really get my butt back home and take care of all the responsibilities that I have neglected while I've been busy moping around. she makes going to T feel very silly. I don't like feeling like that because it makes me feel like I'm wasting time and money.
anyway. I'm not sure how to deal with her. obviously, I feel like she serves a big purpose in my life right now. she kind of keeps me functioning. but is she stuck in denial? or am I really just freaking out over nothing and should just let it go and move on? I don't know...  |
I had an alter similar to this. with me this type of alter wasnt in denial. with in me each of my alters had their own patterns, lifestyles, purpose/jobs. When it came to dealing with this alter it took a lot of patience and open mindedness. her job/purpose and reason for being was to deny any abuse or bad times.
The type of abuse I under went included fear factors/triggers. We were told so many times "dont tell or this will happen", for fear of our life should I tell, I ended up splitting into an alter that was created to do just that - not tell, cover up anything that happened, prevent me from seeking help, prevent me at all costs from telling.
during therapy having this alter made things a real challenge. But with time, patience, lots of safety measures and persevering we were able to address my problems. and she was eventually integrated with me.
maybe your nina is this type of alter. keep working with your therapist and take it one step at a time. I know its frustrating at times but it is well worth it in the end.
