thank you all so much for your support... here's the update:

well i managed to get to re-take my test and ended up with a B in the class so yay there.

my friend was in ICU for a week but he's out of the hospital now and doing better...still in a lot of pain with a few broken ribs and stitches and things but better.

now for the truly awful news:
my favorite cousin was killed in an accident on monday and i am not doing well. i have already had my last (the very last period) appt with my therapist and now i have no one to talk to. all the members of my family have people they can talk to...and unfortunately, for some of them that person is me. so i have no one to talk to about this and i just don't know what i'm going to do. i'm falling apart here and it's like i'm screaming inside to try and tell someone (anyone) so that i don't hit the bottom again... but no one can hear me because i'm only saying it inside my head. i just wanna give up. sigh. i don't know what to do.

fading to black,
shadow