righ tnow i don' treally have any faith.it's hard to believe someone's watching out for you when bad things happen to you.

i feel like my pdoc of many yearsg ave up on me. i saw her this morning, and she seemed so distant. and i asked her about an alternative to the ativan that made me so drugged up, adn she just sais there is nothing and that i'm going to have to deal with everything behaviorally. also, usually when things are this bad, she has me come in the following week, and call her to let her know im okay. she gave me an appt in a month. it just seemed liek she just didn't care anymore.

still feel sick to my stomach. forced myself to eat some lunch, that wast hree hours ago, and i still feel like throwing up.

i'm so tired. couldn't sleep last night. now i'm just really really tired.