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(((Peaches)))
"A rose by any other name..."
Peaches, it is unclear as to who feels 'saddled' with the looking after but we did try to have our teen care for our children for awhile. She felt this same way, worried, lacking real concern and bewildered somewhat by the request. Time is the favourable aspect here. Even new mothers experience these feelings sometimes. It's not all like in the movies, instant adoration or at least it may not be.
Have you tried a table of toys as in play therapy. This seemed to help our little ones connect with the adults a bit and see the bigger picture.
It is hard to take it seriously when de_nile sometimes works too, but, then if we keep ignoring we can also remain kind of stuck.
How 'bout you do some self-soothing and T do some soothing...learning and receiving however you can is how parents learn too. You know sometimes we take a parenting course and sometimes it's gentle trial and error, hopefully not risking the children going back inside.
Does your therapist say 'hi' to the different parts as they show up? Can she/he see them and their distinct traits? Usually we take some time at the beginning to acknowledge everyone and who may like to say/do something.
Maybe some parts will never know complete healing because they don't really, grow as in growing as we know it, maybe they are woven together inside with the others and that is where 'the tapestry of who we are' is and it is so wonderful! Here's the thing, if something is working then it's good to keep it, if it is not let it go. I don't mean let go of the therapist per se but maybe the means they are using that is not working. There are lots of alternate therapies. If the DBT is working for you then go for it, if not ask around for what others are doing.
Will you accept the alters/parts/ego states, or whatever they are called if they are not healed, Peaches? I mean, who is perfect of the typical folk, anyway? I've yet to meet one perfect person on this planet. Everyone has 'stuff', I'm just wondering if you are done? Is done the way to say it? ...or are you stuck still? How can you tell? What is the measurement for healed or done?
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