First please do not take your own life. You are not alone. I too have the same experience as you only it was not my family member who put me through this. I was diagnosed with ptsd and it is really messing with me mentally. I can relate you feel lost sad and used up. If your parents do not beileve you then that is not fair. It is because they do not want to come to terms with it themselves. Someone somewhere loves you and needs you and would be devistated without you. I feel the same as you I am coping with a series of unwanted irrational thoughts and a bunch of other evil that comes along with being a survivor of this vicious act. If you are spiritual seek Jesus. He wants you and loves you no matter what you have been through. Please just hang in there I promise things are going to let up for you soon. All we can do is keep the hope. I also want you to know that this is in no way your fault you did not ask for any of this. I really hope this helps and I hope you are doing better very soon. Sincerely I really do I do not even know you and I care about you enough to write this so that has got to say something.