If it makes you feel any better, for the first 25 years of my life I didn't want to smile at people when they smiled at me, I didn't like trusting people as a kid and I still don't but I'm working on that, I have struggled with social anxiety and self esteem issues my whole life, I was the typical quiet kid that no one really included in anything, but I'm not even mentally ill, as far as I know. Although I do have my quirks. LOL

I also knew a mentally ill guy in college with whom I had run-ins. He was out of control and always trying to trick, use and dominate me but I was determined to rise above the BS and see the good in him. I think he was bi polar and showed most of the signs of SZ. He didn't ever smile besides the time we met and one other time. He appeared cold hearted as well and was always trying to touch me, so I had to sit and stand at a distance when I'd talk to him.

He was outgoing and nice to other people though and had a bad attitude with me, and he knew a lot of people and seem to be well liked but he revealed a lot of his major personal issues to me even though he supposedly didn't trust me. He always got mad at me all the time and said he didn't want to talk to me, yet he'd always talk to me anyway and return my calls promptly most of the time but then he'd act like he was annoyed with me. I was always nice to him, tried to be friends with him and cared about him and he only wanted to use me and not be friends with me.

I only knew him a semester, and he told me not to call him over the summer so I didn't and when I called him the following semester, he was talking a bunch of BS to me and I blew up on him and told him he had issues. Well he got so mad at me that the next time I saw him he said I didn't want to have any more contact with me and to never call him or speak to him again! Well I never called him again, but if I happened to see him in the hall I would try to say hello and he would say hi back occasionally. I wanted to be mature and gracious so I didn't want to ignore him. I think it was so immature for him to act that way.

I'm willing to be friends with and be in a relationship with a mentally ill person but how do I go about doing that when all I've experienced was mistreatment and neglect?

I've had many mentally ill guys in my life over the years. Mentally ill guys seem to be routinely attracted to me and I'm nice to them too but they always end up mistreating me. My theory is that men can smell the dysfunction on me and pounce.

Plus, my dad had suffered from post traumatic stress from be a solider in the military. As I grew up he was so mean and cold to me and I had no clue what was wrong with him and he had a very rough childhood at times so that no doubt added to his meanness, so I am well acquainted with mentally illness other than in the guys I meet.

Mentally ill people aren't a problem to me as long as they don't abuse me. Unfortunately, I've only had heartache with all the one's I've encountered thus far in my life.

Mental illness is very common but no one likes to talk about it. I think that it is possible that some women who run away from the mentally ill have had their own history of hurtful experiences suffered.

I don't want suffering to be my only experience with guys who are ill. I would assume that the one's who actively emotionally hurt other people don't know how to manage their own hurt, issues and mental health so that they are not piling on hurt to others as well.

So it is quite a dilemma from both the ill and non-ill person's perspective. Hurt, pain and fear is on BOTH sides, how can both ill and non-ill people come together in harmony without the fear, is it even possible? I wish it was possible.