Hi Tammy, welcome!

First of all, I am so sorry about your husband...my heart goes out to you.

And then to top it off, you have to almost grieve your T too. The only advice I can give is to talk to her...which I know isn't what you probably want to hear. I would say "I didn't want to take the chance of jepordizing our relationship, but theres something I need to talk to you about. I feel like recently you've changed and I just wanted to make sure it wasn't me". This is what I would probably say because I don't want my T to every think I'm being rude or disrespectfull. You could change it around a bit to make you feel comfortable...just my two cents.

I hope it all works out for you...good luck