Yes, you need a self-esteem to radiate that confident happy vibe that's so fun to be around that people flock to you like moths to a flame and then you can pick whoever you like. I think building a self-esteem is a wonderful journey like the ugly duckling's journey of discovery what a swan she really is.

BUT, you can perhaps try to detach that goal from the more immediate presence of this paralyzing fear that if you let go of bf you have, you may not find better. Such fear may be fueled by low self-esteem, but it is often rooted in a very basic lack of faith in the Universe (or in God if you prefer). It is a form of cowardice (I know, for I have been such a coward many a time in my life)

Imagine this monologue: "All I ever had was vanilla ice-cream. It's ok, I am used to it. I may like one of the other flavors, but to get them I have to give up my vanilla. But what if I don't like that new flavor, what if I don't like any other flavor, and I lost my vanilla forever? I better stick to vanilla!"

You might have heard that when we grow old, we regret not the mistakes we made trying new things, but opportunities we let slide by. Oy! We do!

Does that help?

BTW, as an item to building your self esteem. You do realize that you just described a pretty good set of relationship and communication skills, right?