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Old Dec 25, 2005, 08:31 PM
Anonymous29319
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Posts: n/a
yea it make sense.

I disoociate to this extent and then some. the area you discribe of floating and no one can get to me is what I call my tunnel area. Its between the here and now and my la la land.

I start out in the here and now and then when something happens - could be someone yelling at me, smelling a certain mens calogne, beer,( I have many triggers), the static in my head gets louder and so I turn on music in my head usually the song 'till I gain control again by crystal gayle.

At the time when the static gets loud then things start getting blurry, and I feel floaty and far away and everything I see looks kind of like looking in the wrong side of a pair of binocculars.

then I look behind me where the music is and sort of see a mix of colors -whitish silver, reds blues purples yellows and I just float on through that and Im in my la la land. When I am in la la land I know nothing of the real world its just me and floating musical clouds and grass a tree and I sit there iether floating in the clouds or sitting under the tree watching crystal gayle, loretta lynn, Tammy Wynette and so on singing my favorite songs until I fall asleep.

When I wake up time has gone by, and I find out I have acted out a part of a memory that has been stored in my brain as Darlene, Sunny and so on by drawing, writing, cleaning whatever that memory content contains.

With me no one can get me out of them basically the memory piece has to run its course through until I've reached the end of that trigger point and I "wake up" on my own. That takes me sometimes minutes other times days. At one point I lost 9 months where to me floating in la la land it didn't seem like only a few songs had played but when I woke I found months had passed. To this day I only know what happened during that time from the words of one of my therapists and my best friend who knows I have DID.