Doogie,

I don't think that's anything to feel ashamed of, or feel bad about. I've thought about it, and I think that is part of why I send e-mails to T too, sometimes. Sometimes, I just come out and say it: "Hi T, I just wanted you to remember that I'm out here".

My need to do that has diminished over time, although it comes back more strongly when I'm having a hard time. I know my T trusts the process, so I do too.

I wonder if you would feel better if you talked to T about it? Sometimes NOT talking about things leads to shame and self-doubt, when there is really no need for either of those feelings.