rainbow, I don't know the answer but I wish I did. I think we're in similar positions- knowing that we're not whole without T but not knowing why. Knowing that something was always missing but not knowing what. Coming from loving families and yet finding ourselves having to admit that we didn't get what we needed. I have spent so many years just fighting that- arguing with Ts that it must have been me, not my family, that was wrong. After all, my siblings are fine. And I had everything growing up. But it has gradually sunk in that protecting them/refusing to look at the question isn't really doing anything for them (they're not the ones suffering and they will never know what I talk about in therapy anyway), it's just keeping me unhappy. Which is a source of unhappiness for them too. And gradually it's ok to say "Yes, they gave me everything but somehow it wasn't what I needed". But still... what wasn't what I needed? I don't know. What did I need that I didn't get? I don't know that either...

I guess this isn't really an answer about grieving in T sessions. I have that problem too, or I used to- feeling so wrapped up in T's love that it's almost a buffer from my real life and real problems. When I'm with her, I just want to be with her. So no answer to the question, just some thoughts on how we grieve when we don't know what we're grieving.

If you find out the answer before I do, let me in on the secret
Hugs to you