thanks to all of you for your input. My T is 44, but has been a very "sexy" woman. She had her baby with a donor IVF. Maybe she is changing her look to not have any guys after her? I think it may be exerting more control in her life. Going brown seems like wanting to blend in. Whatever the reason, I am going to bring it up today in as positive a way as possible, but let her know how the changes are affecting me. If she is the therapist she always has been, then she will know what to do. I do so much appreciate all of your input. I will post this evening about how things went.