I'm not a certified Doctor (shrink) or a nurse but a consumer. I was diagnose with having BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder when I was at the psychiatric hospital. I also have depression problems, mostly with BD= Bipolar Disorder, which I wasn't fully diagnose by a Doctor but had people who has BD telling me that I have the similar Symptoms as BD. Let me first tell you that when I first came to the Psych. Hospital was on Feb. 23rd of 2004. I had a nervous breakdown I was feeling homicidal and suicidal because my mother was in the same hospital but in I.C.U area dying because she over dosed of heroin. I must confess that during my time at the hospital I felt very relax and calm, even when my mother was dying. I was in desperate need of support and that I had. I was even given special permission to say my last good-byes to my mother as she was pronounced brain dead. They were going to take my mother off of life support because we requested it. I was walking out of the psychiatric ward with a nurse beside me and to the elevator to the 2nd floor where the I.C.U unit is at. My mother was in either 201 or 202 ( cant really remember what exact room number she was in) anyhow I was talking to my mother, hoping that she'll answer me. I could not believe that this was happening to me. It was like my life is coming to an end because my mother will no longer be on my side to guide me to life. I was hugging her and telling my mother that I loved her dearly and the nurses was unhooking my mother from the machine and turning off the machines and I heard a sound, a sound that I will never forget, the heart monitor going __________ and I started to panic and burst out crying and holding my mother tightly as I didn't wanted to leave her. The psych. nurse gave me approx 4 to 5 mins before unhooking me. I don't remember what happen next. My first visited was great. Although my only complaint was they discharged me too soon. my stay was only 3 days and as soon as I was out I could not sleep or think correctly. I was scared of being alone in my house because I started a nasty habit, a habit that leaded me to the same psychiatric hospital 4 more times. I started cutting my self.