Thanks you guys.

I have this rebound anger now. I know that I had a teen part when I was the age that we're talking about who would come in and deal with the stuff from my mom while I watched. I think that teen doesn't want me to tell, and there is all of this internal anger and hatred and shame when I do. Ugh.

That probably doesn't even make sense. I hate this place (that I'm in inside, not PC) I'm literally going to shut myself in my room for the rest of the day.