Thank you Sunna and Leed for your supportive input. You're right, Sunna, that I do need to love myself (or put effort into trying), and stop the self-criticism. It's hard to break old habits, but what's there to do but keep practicing new ones. And bemoaning the past becomes another way to lose yet more time. There is the now. There's only the now. I'm grateful for the reminder to value what I am, what I have.

Leed, thanks for your loving, encouraging message and the reminder that everyone experiences failure, that it isn't a personal failing. I'm sure that in the myopia of the emotional moments, I overlook all that I've done right.