Quote:
Originally Posted by Squiggle328
If you are following my other thread about my daughter sharing my therapist, this part will relate.
Being that I just confessed my feelings last week, and now I am going through the crap with her taking my daughter as a client, I know that my therapist will relate my 'feelings for her' as to why I am so upset about her seeing my daughter.
She will ask some stupid questions like, "Are you upset with me seeing your daughter because you are afraid of the relationship we will have? Could this be in any way connected to what we talked about last week? Are you worried that I will abandon you? (At this point, I will totally shut down) She will continue, "This is something we need to work through. You are struggling with issues of intimacy and abandonment. I know you don't want to talk about this today, but we need to."
At this point, I will want to get in her face and tell her to back off! If I cussed, I would probably say that in a different way! Maybe one of you can do that for me?
YES, I am sure that this does relate to my feelings for her. YES, I will be jealous. YES, it will bother me to no end. YES, it will feel like someone is taking my 'girlfriend' away, so to speak. YES, I have strong feelings for my therapist. Feelings that I don't want to have!!
I think I am losing it. I am turning into a sick lunatic!
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OMG - you are not a sick lunatic. I can totally relate to what you're saying. Man, feelings that seem out of control. It is a nightmare. I so feel for you. I have been there - not with my T but with another person. It is a tremendously scary place to be and I actually did 'lose my mind'. I ended up running away from home(at age 50) and living on the opposite coast for 4 years. Thankfully my husband stuck it out and welcomed me back when I was brave enough to return.
I so so so feel for you. It's torture. My moral standards are very high and when I broke those standards I was literally in a psychological hell. Please talk to her how to cope with the emotions because you are at risk of 'losing it'. I did and it almost ruined my life. Ask your T how to process this. Don't hide it and try to pretend it's not there. She is a professional and will be able to guide you back to 'sanity'. You're lucky - you have a therapist to talk to (awkward though it may be). I was on my own and was flapping in the wind.