I find with my dad & its my fault is I tell myself its just his innability to show emotion, just to justify not pushing him out of my life completely cos that I guess is that something Im not strong enough to do, he's getting older and has emphasemia,
I remember as a young lad say about 12, mum was packed ready to leave him had my sister packed up, I just couldnt go, I new he'd end his life. they went and I stayed they eventually returned a month later. Emotional abuse and emotional blackmail went hand in hand in my case. def leads to confusion and anger later down the track. if i had a chance and the courage to put my life first back then maybe i wouldnt be reliant on meds now.
but i am lucky he wasnt a phisically violent man.
and also feel privaliged to write on your thread.
keep your chin up