I'm a survivor (for the moment) of Domestic Violence. I've been raped, beaten, abused, and abandoned. I'm fighting to survive, to build something of a life and taking things slowly, one step at a time. I fought to have my name changed without any of the normal stuff like publication and having an open, searchable court record. No-one can ever connect my old name with my new one, and vice-versa. It wasn't easy, took more than a year and require proof.

Next step of course is, armed with the same proof, AND a sealed name change to go to the Nazi's at the SS office and get my social and name changed there. Called them up, told them what I needed to do, what I had for them and was assured that yes, survivors who fear for thier lives, can have a change. It requires first at the very least, that there was a restraining order, and then that it had been violated. It also required a sealed name change as part of the process. When I had that all I could come right in and it would be done, and no, it would not interefere with my pending disability case.

They lied. It's the only thing I can think at this point, they lied! Not only did they not change anything, they called me, to my face a liar, claimed I'd forged all the court paperwork, and threatened to call the police on me if I didn't take my crying and hystrionics someplace else. I left in deep despair, serious pain from the half hour long verbal assualt this woman gave me.

I went directly to my therapists office crying the whole way there. She helped me calm down some and compose myself and told me to go home, take one of the heavy tranquilizers and rest a bit, then we'd talk about it more and see what to do next from there.

I went home, took a pill that usually knocks me out, leaves me non-functional and waited, and waited, and waited for it to take effect. While I waited, I called the SS main number back, lost it again and was hysterical and crying on the phone, but never once did I say, or even allude to taking my own, or anyone else's life. They kept me on the line, called the police, and had me taken under guard to the rubber room. I kid you not, padded everything where I waited some more. Now I was not only hysterical in pain, but further terrified by being locked away in a padded cell.

By the time they came for me I was calmer, but no less terrified, they found me huddled in a corner shaking. My roommate had come over to the hospital and joined me, helping to calm me down, but the threat of a 72 hour hold was very real. All because I got emotional on the phone.

Hello, since when is having emotions a crime, since when is showing how one is feeling a criminal act. Worse yet still, while the rest of the world is more respectful of someone who's been through hell, these idiots gave me a denial with the following sentence as the reason;

"We need documentation that her life is in actual danger and that she has a RIGHT to be fearful." (My caps not thiers)

I'm sorry but who died and left them boss of the universe? Who said they can decide who has a RIGHT to be afraid??? What is this madness???

So now I have a new name I can only use online and no place else because it will lead them right back to me and it will all start over again. What's a girl to do?