Amazing VoP, your words are like a mirror to my thoughts. I realize at the deepest level that the past is not indicative of the future...so I don't get why I can't spot these types a mile off before I'm sucked into another black hole.

What's worse is that with their being varying degrees of NPD there have been one or two of these relationships that I actually thought that I could make work. I thought I could tolerate the bad behavior, the poutiness, the standoffishness - the lack of trust you that you feel...etc etc etc But that's not possible in reality because they are not real men. Their psyche can range from everything and anything from sadistic to childlike. You want to believe that they can have real feelings for you but that is an impossibility. There is no pleasing them, no appeasing them...the more you give the more they take until you have nothing left of yourself. They can do nothing but use and abuse.

It's just so damn hard for me to come up with a reason why these types are so attracted to me or is it that I am to them? Like it has been my chosen lot in life to be deprived of love. That my lot is only to give and not to receive>?<

J