I know what you are going through,as I am doing the same, though, I don't feel then the same emotions as you do. I am inappropriately apathtic towards such situation, despite how much my love ones get hurt.
You want to reach out, it's is hard, i know, and I am envious of you that you even consider their feelings out of love. Sit by yourself and think about why you push them away, why you are scared, how will your love ones react, and what will be the concenquences. There will always be concnquences in life, be it big or little, but at some point we have to face the god horrible music. It will be painful, I am not going to lie, but you are willing to go through a bit more pain to make them udnerstand, right? You have to stay strong girl, I know you can do it.

-DAICY