I feel like too much of a burden to even get into a relationship. I don't want to be insecure, depressed, anxious, and self-critical in someone else's presence. When I feel really bad, I can't think of anything to talk about other than my problems. And I hate doing that. I'm so lonely and long for someone to be close to, to share love and support with, but I can't stand revealing my dark side. When I'm depressed, it's really hard to be there for someone else. There are no reserves. And that brings up shame. I hate being so selfish and self-absorbed.

I'm glad that you're getting professional help. Couples counseling can really help. It sounds like your boyfriend really genuinely cares about you. Try to take that in. You don't need to keep sabotaging your happiness. Gee, maybe I should take my own advice.