Quote:
Originally Posted by lavieenrose
I feel like too much of a burden to even get into a relationship. I don't want to be insecure, depressed, anxious, and self-critical in someone else's presence. When I feel really bad, I can't think of anything to talk about other than my problems. And I hate doing that. I'm so lonely and long for someone to be close to, to share love and support with, but I can't stand revealing my dark side. When I'm depressed, it's really hard to be there for someone else. There are no reserves. And that brings up shame. I hate being so selfish and self-absorbed.
I'm glad that you're getting professional help. Couples counseling can really help. It sounds like your boyfriend really genuinely cares about you. Try to take that in. You don't need to keep sabotaging your happiness. Gee, maybe I should take my own advice.   |
lavienenrose...you will find the support one day...I understand how you feel about revealing the dark side. I did that with my ex bf...finally he got tired of me and told me I was crazy...it really hurt when he said those things and left me. It was traumatic even...I still have flashbacks today about him and how I embarrassed myself infront of him...I still at that time didn't udnerstand what was wrong with me and I was 19. I felt very alone after that, hurt and lost. It is never easy to find the right support when you need it and even with my present bf...it took me 11 months to get into his head that there was something wrong with me and something needed to be done. He still doesn't udnerstand everything that is wrong with me...nor do I...but I know he sill stick by me. My family is not interested in sticking by me...I know that...but I always have hope...and that is what you hold on to...without hope...you become lost...I wish you all the best...and I know what you are going through...if you wish to pm me anytime...please do...and you can be as self absorbed as you would like...sometimes all we need to get better is someone to listen and validate what we are feeling..(.hugs)