thank you. I know this is what I need to do but recent efforts have resulted in me shutting down and experiencing unpleasant flashbacks etc. Unfortunately at this time I am hanging on by a thread, difficult times, so I just don't feel I can deal with these things at this time even though I would like to so I can try to put it al behind me.

Its frustrating which is adding to levels of anxiousness. Viscous circle. Am ready to run and disappear from life.