Hey Chandler. I am sorry you are going through so much... and so alone. Well you are not alone when you are here. Sometimes people here have good suggestions. I belong to a website that has a link for something called Samaritans. Its in the UK. and you can contact them by email. They talk to people. I will give you the link. http://www.samaritans.org/talk_to_someone/email.aspx They also talk to people by phone. But you are in the US. And they are in the UK. So If you wanted to communicate with them, then perhaps email would be best. They might suggest some online options for you. One thing that comes to mind is this. Could you find a MD who could prescribe medications for you? Without your company knowing it? I dont know if their discrimination is legal. But I guess thats another story. I might tend to trust the Samaritans because they are a provided link at the "suicide forum" website. A loving website that supports people in not harming themselves. I wish I had another idea. Keep posting here. I bet there will be other people with good ideas, as some here already have had. Take good care, please. You already are cared about.