had to go to a friends engagement party tonight, first night out socialising in twelve months.
I almost couldnt make myself enter the party.
But i had too my partner and my kids wanted to be there so badly.
Forced myself to sit through three hours, i wanted to have fun , to dance. But i feel like a freak, like im ugly, so i sat there.
Left early (my partner stayed on) felt completely suicidal , but i could not do that to my kids, i wish they had a 'real' parent though instead of me......