I see what you're saying. I guess it all depends on the endgame for me. If the point is that you can't bear to see the person suffering, thats more like (as in sunna's example.. that's just being a great friend, sunna!). And of course it's always fair game to walk away from a destructive partner... no doubt that is a sacred boundary....

BUT I think not all people can attain that level of self awareness about what is their stuff and what is others'. The manipulation for me is in saying, "I'm setting the agenda now... but it's for your own good."