I wish I knew how to keep all of this straight.... I wish I knew the difference between just being lethargic, exhausted from my responsibilities, from being depressed, from having no energy due to a lack of nutrition and a lack of sleep, from wanting to si... I wish I knew why I am dissociating, feeling like none of this is real. I can't keep these things straight anymore, they all blend into one big mess, one big black mess suffocating me.... all the days are the same, all the good times mean nothing compared to all the bad times. I freeze up when someone hugs me, I stare off into the distance if someone tells me they love me... I stare into the mirror and- I can't recognize myself. I feel completely out of it, like someone drained all my energy, took away all my emotions, and left... a silhouette, a mask but nothing else. One thing comes smashing down after the other, taking away more of my energy, leaving less and less each day.... until what? What then? WHY am I stuck like this? Why do I feel nothing? I want to do so many things and I can't.... I barely find the energy to type this but I know I don't know where else to turn. I don't know a way out of this....