well I think there's things you can do if you don't eat b/c of the mood swings but if, like you said, it's more b/c you hate your body and dont' feel like you deserve nourishment, then that's a whole other issue... it doesn't sound like you have a healhty or stable body image, even though it also sounds like your body is just fine... that's the thing w/ ed's though, they play w/ your mind... and yeah you could def. be focusing on the hunger and eating/not eating instead of your emotions... have you ever heard of ednos? this could be an example of one... do you have a T? can you discuss this w/ him/her? there are so many reasons as to why you're feeling this way, I think talking to someone who knows where you're coming from (history, diagnosis etc.) would be a great help. If you fear food (possibly weight gain), obsess about it and your body, have a distorted body image, crave food and then go without it frequently, I'd definitely say you have stuff to figure out... honestly, I don't know what else to say then go and talk to your therapist or someone else about this.. espec. b/c you yourself seem to be quite confused as to what you're saying & what the truth is etc... only you know that . hope it all goes well.