Don't blame yourself for your emotions, squiggle....no need to add shame to valid feelings, or use the shame of them to try to chase them away....
I think it's part of therapy that it can cause us to feel like we're on an emotional roller-coaster, dealing with heavy, intense emotions, being more vulnerable to triggers.....sometimes I have thought, what is the value of this pain, particularly the value of the pain of attachment/intense feelings for my T which of course I know cannot be returned (and that is a pain that I could do without....yet I know it is a pain to simply be accepted) Something I wrote in my journaling for the next session....without the d***ed attachment, this would be so much easier. But then what would the value be - this is what is really helping me see deeper, go deeper - and where would the true change & healing be if it were easy, shallow, without pain in the process.....' So I understand....
I think some of this emotional rollercoaster I feel like I have been on is, for me, a dramatic highlight of the way I have lived emotionally up to this time anyway - I feel like I have lived on an emotional rollercoaster, and therapy is accentuating it, spotlighting it if you will or something, so that I can see it even more sharply defined. Not sure that that is clear.....
As far as it being part of being part of being bipolar....maybe, maybe not. My T thinks I am bipolar too.....and I'm sure she is looking at the way I have reacted emotionally and how I have been so up, so down, at times through the 7 months we've been working together too.
I think we are feeling deeply though because we working deeply! I see that you are working SO hard, squiggle, and you are willing to go deep and face what is way down deep in you and willing to deal definitively with it.