I see. Sometimes solitude can benefit certain individuals. Personally, I long for a relationship, but at the same time, Im not afraid to die alone. Ive been single 4 a ill minute (almost a decade) N ive had the time 2 really get to know myself better. It seems that youve givin up hope on finding a relationship. Sometimes solitary can be positive, but its harmful if you are afraid of dying alone. I got certain legitimate reasons why I dont trust ppl, but I realize that not all ppl r ignorant and are deserving of a chance of friendship (or a serious relationship with a female). Im sorry that u have 2 go through that, evening. If you really do want a relationship (whether its a casual friendship or a serious relationship) then you must know what u want and take small steps toward that goal. As a mentally ill person, I know how difficult that can be. But if u choose to be by yourself, then make sure you are able to except that and move foward with your life. I hope this helps...