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I have let 3 friends in...
I have known them all for more than 2 years and I feel I can trust them. But for me its the embarrassment factor.... I am owing up to being ill.... owing up to needing their help and support at the moment. I have always been the one who was fine and never was ill (so we all thought) and now I am just ill all the time even when I think I am fine I am'nt.
I want them to know somethings.... but not everything and they don't know half the stuff I think they should know. I want to feel safe and I know I can be with them but when I go to tell them I chicken out. I feel all anxious and nervous and freeze.
Ny ex friend couldn't handle my depression/manic episodes this was before we knew I had Bipolar. She was being leaned on too much and couldn't cope. I have apologised for this as I now know that was wrong for me to expect her to be able to handle it all. I just don't want the same to happen?? Does this all make sense??
I feel a bit Manic and mixed up
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