I'm sorry you're going through this. It's a horrible situation to be in. I imagine it's never dawned on your husband that this is rape, and it's a hard thing for a man who loves his wife to accept, that he's actually raped her.

After my son was born I was very loath to have sex. I had stiches, and excrutiating pain, and I could barely piss without feeling like I was being stabbed with red hot needles. My son's father "felt rejected," and somehow, I don't know how, we ended up having sex less than a week after my son was born. I cried throughout.

In retrospect, this can't have been anything other than rape, even though I said "Okay, can we get this over with?" I suppose he also found it hard to understand why this was rape, though to me it could be nothing else once the pain started. (And believe me, it started.)

It's not the same as your situation, CSC, but there's some common ground. A man can cross the line, without really noticing, and frankly it's his responsibilitly as the one with the dck to make damned sure he isn't over the line. A man who has genuinely crossed the line by accident should immediately be repentant when he realises what he's done.

As you've probably guessed, I believe in marital rape. And no, it's not your fault.